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timothy christmas

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arachnid assigned gender. [18 Oct 2005|07:45pm]
[ mood | rich in deep thought. ]

i woke up with pink paint spattered on my naked torso, not knowing how it got there. perhaps it has something to do with the epic dream i had last night about candy bars & loose teeth & the marketing thereof. clotilde's got a ticket. ten days ten days.

Comments: 6 crashed // crash into a limousine

vanity post, sickening for those not directly involved. [04 Oct 2005|10:29pm]
[ mood | loved ]

you wish you had my girl. hot damn.

Comments: crash into a limousine

i wanna know how many of you lost a lotta blood. [29 Sep 2005|11:00pm]
[ mood | oh so goth ]

right. so.

i've been so old for so long. i'm twenty-three today, & it doesn't feel much different, but certainly a million times better than my last two birthdays. there's always some kinda heartache associated with my birthday. i'd like to think i'm pretty happy go lucky & not a drama queen, but feeling crappy right around my birthday seems to be the theme lately. most stuff is good, though, so i shouldn't complain. the biggest problem this year is that i'm so far away from my lovely lady (let's call her... clotilde), and i miss her so much. she's going to visit at the end of octobre though. she bought tickets for both of us to see the tiger lillies in brooklyn on halloween, i'm so excited. she's so sweet. i love her a lot.

(you can puke now. go ahead. i'll wait.)

i guess that only a few really shitty things happened this week. (a) i got a horrible, gut-wrenching bloodbath of a workshop on a story i wrote called "two things every woman should know." nobody understood it. my teacher (fiction writer Joshua Furst-- really great professor but a hardass like woah) really laid into it. then today he took me aside and asked me how i was, told me he felt bad because i looked really shaken up after the critique. and one chick who was absent that day told me that she'd thought it was the best thing she'd read by a peer this year. but everyone else hated it. oh yeah & (b) i feel bad because these two chicks really want to live with me and i really couldn't stand to live with one of them, even though she's really nice. i feel like a mean person. but i decided to stay in the frankensquat, because i started paying for it legit-- three bedrooms $500 a month until it gets torn down. & i just got mike d. to move in, so we'll each be paying $250. we're turning the biggest room into a studio//parlour, and i think i'm having an improvisational show (me on keys, the force on guitar, mike d. on guitar, probably candice on bass, hopefully pierre on drums, anyone else who can shred noise like they're skinning a robotic rabbit) there, hopefully saturday. we'll see. i'm hella saving money by living there, and i couldn't ask for a chill-er roommate that i already know than mike. you should come visit sometime. except that it's no girls allowed (clotilde & megan o.k.).

i've been hanging out a lot with leslie (nick's girl who rocks hard) and some other writing majors from the class below me. they're fun kids. i still don't really know any kids from my class. oops. oh well. they don't understand me. maybe i'll light some candles in the shape of a pentagram and dye my hair black and play dingeons & dragons. you're not invited.

Comments: 1 crashed // crash into a limousine

"dump the body in rikki lake" [10 Sep 2005|12:32pm]
[ mood | happy ]

we meet again, gentle friends. did you really think i would abandon you, just like that. oh no, i'm no deadbeat father, & all my child-support payments are up to date. i'm going to slowly peel back some days here, not all of them, just the most important parts. the big stuff. the huge stuff, so big i can barely fit it in my brain.

peel slowly. be careful not to rip out any hair. expose the wound, festering at the edges. infect! infect!Collapse )

Comments: 1 crashed // crash into a limousine

"indie rock" days, "indie rock" nights. [07 Jun 2005|12:53pm]
confidential to max: i broke into your house. sorry, dude.
Comments: crash into a limousine

the windowsills have secrets. [16 May 2005|04:23pm]
[ mood | flustered ]

so i finally caved and joined that whole "myspace" thing, mostly to keep in better touch with my sister. little did i know that over the weekend i would be featured in the "cool new people" section and go there this morning to find something like 350 comments in my inbox and about 450 friend requests. i keep getting messages from 15 year old girls who are like "HeY wUzZuP?!? im bored lol. i want 2 marry u your hella fine LOLz! j/k! but OMG your awsum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and then i go to their profile and its all "hi guys im britn'y n im not old enuff to drink (LEGALLY... LOL!) but im hella cool evn tho i can be a total bitch rofl!! EMO is my life n i realllly heart that movie napolean dynamite ("GOOOOOOOOSSSSHHH!"). syl!"

what do i have in common with these people (besides the fact that we are both strangely drawn to those real world vs. road rules shows)? nothing, thats what.

and the sex requests? ugh, learn some TACT, you unclean perverts. no wonder you still live with your mom*. most of the girls who wanted sex would say things like "oh my god you're sexy. interested in meeting a hot chick who wants to have sex?" the guys were even more straightforward/aggressive. theyd be all "we should fuck." or something like that. is there anyone who would ever consider that sexy?

i'm not trying to be rude, but i just dont know how to respond to all of these people (especially when they just say things like "hey" or "wazzup?") so i've just been responding to the ones i find meaningful. and thats all a man can do.

*i'm trusting all of you to overlook the fact that i, too, live with my mom.

Comments: 1 crashed // crash into a limousine

1234revenge! [09 May 2005|01:46pm]
can anybody tell me what the phrase "knuck if you buck" means?
Comments: crash into a limousine

let's go catastrophe! [04 May 2005|12:19pm]
[ mood | lepid* ]

what i'm learning about: movement of ocean waves, addiction to television, displacement of space, containment of space, the mounting fossil fuel crisis, the melting of the polar ice caps, the value/beauty of being quiet, that people are way easier to talk to than i ever thought, that i shouldn't necessarily talk to someone just 'cause it's easy, synchronisity as applied to the physical, how the human brain (ideas, thoughts) acts as a force on the rest of the universe and how the universe responds to that force.

what i'm making: a story, drawings based on precious timelines, drawings based on ugly flora/fauna, a ceramic breakfast (hash browns, grilled cheese and tomato, orange juice).

what i saw last night: the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy (GO SEE IT).

misc: just when i think things might be falling into place between us, you turn out to be way to awesome for the likes of me. alas.

*i looked it up for you. \Lep"id\ (-[i^]d), a. [L. lepidus.] Pleasant; jocose. [R.]

Comments: crash into a limousine

i ate a dead bee once. [02 May 2005|11:43am]
this weekend i rode around in a ricketty red rv camper that, when you flushed the toilet in the back, would just dump all your poo onto the street.

i had a totally classy friday night. art, good beer, slick electronic music, raw vegan delights, rich kids.

i had a totally trashy saturday night. barbecue, pbr, sloppy kisses, glaucoma medicine, 20 minute air drum solo, elliot's bloody nose.

so i'm done with the novel i was reading. whats next?
Comments: 2 crashed // crash into a limousine

a word from our sponsors. [30 Apr 2005|02:48pm]
theres nothing i love more in this world than a bald, booshy-moostachio-ed, middle aged white guy wearing a solid-colored polo shirt, chinos, and white new balances. honestly, is there a man woman or child on this earth that doesnt love that guy?

a plethora of well-being to you and yours.
Comments: crash into a limousine

torchaaaaaaaaaaaaaah is what i love! [29 Apr 2005|10:10am]
[ mood | confused ]

so last night i walk past this television that happens to be playing american idol (you'll have to trust me on this one. i certainly don't like that show and i do not by any means follow it or embrace its cheeze-ridden glory) and i notice that one of the contestants is (*gasp*) metal. there's this crusty, grungy longhair straight-up DUDE on that show. if i tune in next week and he's not singing "antichrist" by slayer, i'll kick a dog in half.

Comments: crash into a limousine

[ mood | lonely ]

seems like its breakup season again. sarah and catherine from work both broke up with their longtime boys this week. i don't know about catherine, but i'm glad for sarah because that dude was a drug-addled dick. he reminded me of the way that dan and i used to act toward our girlfriends when we were all strung out. dickish. just a gigantic fucking asshole. a gigantic fucking poop-covered butt.

but wait, isn't it supposed to be Spring here? and isn't spring supposed to be that wonderful season when everyone falls in love? whats with the breakups? cupid needs to pull his weight a little better. if for no one else than for my sake, because damn if i'm not lonely like a machine that's programmed to be the loneliest machine that ever lonlied. okay maybe i'm not that bad (keep cool, don't look desperate, you can do this), but jesusjumpingjackcripplechrist, some lovin would help.

any help in this matter would be much appreciated. thank you. (for being there)

Comments: crash into a limousine

you are not your asymmetrical haircut. [27 Apr 2005|12:15pm]
i saw "a very long engagement" last night and i cried.
Comments: 2 crashed // crash into a limousine

apply to be my spring fling. [25 Apr 2005|01:15pm]
[ mood | pretty awesome. ]

the nsun has vomited all over our rich green world and we are here to celebrate. yee-haw.

it is so beautiful outside these days. i never want to go inside. i played in the park on friday and didn't want to leave. i worked on saturday, but that's alright because i came home and caught the tail end of "A Tale of Two Sisters" (any fan of horror must see that movie. it will scare you so bad that you'll poop) with my parents and then went and bought fruit and beer with Fernando, Saron, Alex, and Tyler2, and then went to Fernando's house to make juice, drink beer, toke the cheeb, drink the juice we made, and watch Dead Alive (fucking great by the way. duhh.). the evening was splendid.

oh and i do hope that everyone in the world is going to see Kung Fu Hustle. it ripped in a way that only something created by Stephen Chow can rip.

i don't want to go to work. i'd rather lie in the sunshine. i hope that everyone is feeling lovely.

Comments: crash into a limousine

[ mood | ITCHY ]

i itch so bad. this has been going on for over a week now and i have all these tiny red spots all over my torso and i can't keep from scratching. i might be a bit of a hypochondriach (sp?) here, but i really fear that it might be scabies. i'm finally going to the doctor in a few hours, so we shall see. i really hope its not the scabes, just because it would be such a hssle to disinfect everything i've touched or sat on, and i'd feel bad because i might have gotten max'z couch infested by sleeping on it last weekend. also, i might have to quarantine myself for a few days while the medicine kills them off. nasty, unclean stuff.

i have my first oceanography midterm tomorrow. i do fear it will kill me.

i apologize for my uninspired manner on this sunny day. i am sleepy and itchy.

Comments: crash into a limousine

epiphanies [19 Apr 2005|02:31pm]
kersti is the funnest.
the US dollar will probably be worth nothing at some point within your lifetime.
3d glasses make you dumb (you forget your own name).
6-8 cans of schmidt make you dumber (you tell your beautiful friend she looks like a muppet and then describe to her what your asshole looks like after youve taken a hangover shit).
hiphop is constructed to eliminate itself.
folk music makes you proud to be an american (but not much else has that effect).
fruit salad is the best springtime breakfast.
scarlet johansen really isnt a very good actress.
you need to hang out with carly more.
you need to write more.
you need to spend more time in the ceramics studio.
you need to give mike a call.
you really should quit that nasty habit.
boat shows make you sad.
Comments: 2 crashed // crash into a limousine

and then i made a can of soup because... [18 Apr 2005|12:01pm]
livejournal schmivejournal.
Comments: crash into a limousine

dance all fancy [13 Apr 2005|11:49am]
i made a birthday tape for alex (brooks) at work and it is just so pretty i want to keep it for myself. she'd better appreciate that shit.

first side:
satisfaction by cat power.
what youd die for by the cinema eye.
the soldiering life by the decemberists.
a wish by gregory + the hawk.
sand (eric's trip) by the microphones.
brown metal by hella.
bipolar by blonde redhead.
i am if... by the make-up.
mongoloid by devo.
dream by dizzee rascal.
there's always room on the broom by liars.
the fairy feller's master stroke by glass candy.
daylight falls by asahi.
closer by low.
what was me by calvin johnson.

next side:
one chord wonders by the adverts.
give me back my man by chicks on speed.
spanish amnesia & scorpion boy by the vogue.
laura by the scissor sisters.
making people normal by bis.
broken glass by the murder city devils.
sexy results by death from above 1979.
death letter by the white stripes.
please do by quasi.
a line allows progress, a circle does not by bright eyes.
breakout a-town by julie ruin.
acoustic guitar by the magnetic fields.
make it hot by mirah.
winterstorm '98 by cadallaca.
come on up to the house by tom waits.
american vultures by the blood brothers.

hidden lots later: your ice cream is ready by mocket.

a bit generic and grab-bag-ish i know, but i told her i'd make her a tape of the shit i liked, and that's what i did. its called "timothy christmas sez: 'welcome to my world & a half.'" happy 17th, alex (brooks).

glamourous weekend. can't say much about it here. jesse knows, max knows, amanda knows, alice knows, mark knows, alex (kamm) knows, kim definately knows, that thuggish kid who wants to get together and make hiphop beats knows. and that's everyone that needs to know, natch.

just saw a preview yesterday for "unleashed" with jet li. i can't wait until may 13th.

i'm gearing up for oc thursday. can't wait.

i'm a born mc. something needs to change in hiphop, and i'm ready to do it. just wait until you hear these new fat beats i got going. too much fun.

off to ceramics. throwing on the wheel is a blast.
Comments: crash into a limousine

stab me with a knife made of pure fun. [05 Apr 2005|11:50am]
[ mood | tired ]

magnetic signatures are frozen into every new being on earth.

party friday: met the 'rents downtown for a drink, went to check out amy's new place in pioneer square. its an amazing ly huge loft with two exposed brick walls. amy is simply amazing. being around her humbles me. after hanging for a few, i walked up the hill to the dizzee rascal show. diz came out in this huge 5x jimi hendrix tshirt, reppin for the big northwest. WORD. he was so good and he played everything i wanted him to ("fix up look sharp," "i love you," "dream," "learn," everything), but the crowd-- most of them anyway-- sucked my gangreene infested labia. i was trying to dance, jumping around like a retarded pig that just got stabbed in the jugular, and so many people were all "umm, excuse me, you're stepping on my toes," "umm, excuse me, this is like the fifth time you've bumped into me." and i'm all "umm, excuse me, but this is like the fifth time i ejaculated in your mom's crude snatch!" well no i didn't say that. but here's what i'm thinking: if yr feet ain't feelin it, then you ain't feelin it, and if you ain't feelin it, get off the dance floor. it is called a dance floor after all, and if you can't learn to SHAKE THAT HONEY-BAKED HAM (especially at a hiphop show), then you are welcome to go sit in the balcony or the back of the crowd. it comes with the territory. dancing is not a sin. didn't you people see "footloose?" if i ever stop dancing the way i wanna dance, if i ever get self-conscious about moving it at a show, i invite you to shoot me in the back of the head, execution style.

at the show, i ran into this kid sean that i had met at the strangers show in san fransisco. wierd! we had fun times driving around after the show, being generally bad kids, and he was nice enough to drop me at home.

quiet saturday: did nothing all day. i felt like shit from all of the previous night's activities, and didn't do a damn thing until i went to rochelle's going-away party at around midnight. rochelle is a coworker with erin and max, and she's moving to ellensburg. i wish her best of luck, but i already miss her. i don't even know her that well, but i have to say that she is one of the biggest sweethearts and most genuine people i've met in the past year.

after that i wen't to max's, where david arrived drunker and beligerenter than i've ever seen anyone. he was throwing up on the back porch and yelling obscenities for hours.

then i worked. and worked. and worked. i'm so tired.

Comments: crash into a limousine

[31 Mar 2005|12:32pm]
[ mood | floaty in a good way. ]

my achey brakey ear got better and that's a good thing. i went to the doctor but it was waste of time and money. she looked at me for about five seconds and said it was just part of a virus. at least it wasn't a second brain growing or anything. i'm still learning to use the one i have.

last night i went to see the motorcycle diaries finally. it was such a beautiful movie, and i think it should be required viewing for any apathetic youth who has a che shirt and has no idea what it means. jean paul sartre called ernesto guvara "the most complete human being of our time." the movie did a good job of showing that, seeing as he's been changed into a logo in the past ten years or so.

i'm so happy with my new classes. i'm on my way to the ceramics studio to do some extra work, and today i learned that oxygen is present on earth because of cyanobacteria, who would create it as a byproduct of turning sunlight into sugars (photosynthesis). of course this is only and idea. there is no such thing as a scientific proof. all science does is open up more possibilities.

have you ever thought about life through the eyes of an autistic person? i can hardly fathom.

and if someone has high blood pressure, are they still a viable donor for a heart? just a thought.

and is time travel really possible? i think so. about five or ten years ago light was sped up to 30 times its percieved top speed by being sent through a chamber of specially prepared cesium gas. (i don't know how it was prepared. i'm a retard when it comes to chemistry). technically, the light particle exited the chamber before it entered, meaning that we can theoretically see a moment in time before it happens. that's time travel, my friend. time is relative to light, and when the light barrier bis broken, so is the time barrier. i just had a conversation with some random kids about it while we smoked cigarettes, and one kid came up with the idea of sending holograms through time (since they are just light) andf warning albert einstein not to help with the atomic bomb project. after all is said and done though, we still cannot make the particle carry any mass, volume, or information. if you do that, i think it just explodes. and i think a hologram falls under the bracket of "information."

that's what i've been thinking about today.

i'm off to ceramics so i can get home in time to read more of kafka on the shore (i can't say enough about that novel).

i'm so happy that nick is so in love. a happy nick means a happier jake. and lesley sounds just lovely. i can't wait to come back and meet her. actually, i really am getting more excited about moving back to nyc. which is wierd. nyc is like the eddie hascal of north american cities, and i'm the beav. it's mean to me but i just can't stay away.

Comments: crash into a limousine

oh-yeah-and [29 Mar 2005|01:15pm]
[ mood | grumpy. my ear hurts. ]

oh yeah and i started classes again. oceanography and ceramics.

oh yeah and san fransisco was amazing. i caught the strangers there because they were rolling through on a west coast tour. i went with erin schmith and saw josh (ak-waarrrrdd) and of course ian and gabe and the rest of the band. ian is moving to egypt next year. the only bummer about the show was ian's fiddle breaking halfway through. he couldn't play the whole set. i was jumping around having so much fun and i kept on bumping into these girls and apologizing sloppily and profusely. they were very nice about it all, and someone told me later that they wanted to fuck me or something, but i had other things in mind. like waiting for the bus and sleeping on my sister's couch. i guess i'm not the playa i used to be.

oh yeah and i gotta hypothetical question: is it fundamentally wrong for a 22 yr old to be crushing on a 16 yr old? (... hypothetically of course ...)

Comments: crash into a limousine

ouchouchouCHOUCHoucHOUChouchouCHOUCHOUCHOUch! [29 Mar 2005|01:04pm]
[ mood | in searing pain! ]

my inner right ear hurts like a hurting machine. i think its infected or something.

Comments: crash into a limousine

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